Kindness, it's a start.

by John Francis Deyto
Nov 10, 2020

This last election, for me, was a face off of two competing definitions of masculinity. Trump's hypermasculinity that defined his candidacy in 2016. Whether he was talking about his testosterone count (Dr Oz show) or shrugging off the shocking Access Hollywood video (with Billy Bush), masculinity was at the center of the conversation. And although many Americans were aware of it, he was voted in.

On the opposite side, Biden. He is kind, caring, and unifying. Joe is known for his decency and empathy. We need that. We have all seen the hate and hurt that was reported on and socialized online and broadcasted on the news. I don’t know what the next steps are really, but I do think that humanity is necessary for us to have a North Star. Joe is the compassionate, honest, and hard working individual that is needed to pick up the pieces. America, we are broken.

As a father and an American, what will haunt me the most is the fact that the“zero-tolerance” policy on the U.S.-Mexico border was rolled out. America really did separate children from their parents. Why? I am hurt as a father and an American. What would a 4 year old do to a country of +328 million? What is the benefit of separating a child from a parent?

My Dad’s Circle talks about the challenges of being a father in the 21st Century. Essentially, it is centered around the belief that Dads can have a large impact on a child and help shape him or her into the person they become. We talk about technology in Education, Safety on the Social Web, and how we emotionally support our kids.

Our next topic is on Character. We know that traits such as manners and compassion don’t magically appear overnight.

The one trait I will focus on is Kindness, which has somehow been on a decline. In an Article for The Atlantic, Adam Grant and Allison Sweet Grant wrote “Kids learn what’s important to adults not by listening to what we say, but by noticing what gets our attention. And in many developed societies, parents now pay more attention to individual achievement and happiness than anything else. However much we praise kindness and caring, we’re not actually showing our kids that we value these traits.”

Could this be the reason why we have lost our way? Is it true that we lost the concern for people less fortunate than us. If so, we need Biden now more than ever. I have heard of many things on what Americans need right now… Peace, Repair, etc… What is a good start is a man who believes that being a good parent means raising our children to “be honorable, generous, and kind. Kindness, It's a start. Let’s start there.